Why You Resist Sharing Your Gifts or Service!
The other night as I was getting ready for this new week/ month/ quarter ahead, I pulled a card.
This might look like a nice affirmative card on the surface, but underneath is a mighty kick up the azz by the higher powers that be.
🙈
As soon as I read it, I knew I was (lovingly) being pulled up by the Universe.
Here's why:
Last week, I guest hosted a webinar for the LEO Women in Business Network.
I connected with Pauline from the LEO the evening before on email and she shared that the sign ups for this particular webinar were 'well above average'.
Whoop! 🎉
The following morning, she shared there were even MORE sign ups over night so a high number of sign ups altogether.
So far so good.
Now. I've presented many talks and webinars in the past so I'm confident that what I'm sharing is of value. Not only that, I really believe the message of owning our power and using it IS the way forward for humanity and the planet.
I couldn't see the comments as I was presenting but Pauline mentioned that people were engaging so ok, another good sign.
It came to the Q & A.
'Any questions? Feel free to unmute yourself, or if you have challenges in your business...?'
Silence.
Then one webinar attendee unmuted herself and shared the following:
'I don't have a question. I just want to say great talk and to anyone that wants to work with you, I think they should as I've worked with you and I think you're brilliant and the Power In You Approach™ is amazing.'
It was Aisling from Taer Jewellery , a complete dream boat soul client I worked with recently.
(BTW - You can check out her stuff @ www.taerjewellery.com . I love her work AND her ethos. )
Another beautiful creative soul who's been a client also left a comment in the chat box sharing a similar sentiment.
It says a lot about the Power In You Approach™ when past clients take time out of their busy schedules to benefit from the free stuff on offer ( in this case, the webinar).
So..... where did I feel I held back?
Now firstly, it was only in hindsight that I felt this. I normally walk away feeling good when I present, but something wasn't sitting fully right with me.
After some reflection and chat with my own coach Caoimhe, I discovered that I held back on a question I was asked on the webinar.
How? I gave a text book answer.
It was a correct answer.
A perfectly fine answer. But....
I could feel myself holding back.
I shied away from fully sharing my expertise, experience and what I have found to be true.
Afterwards, this did not feel good. Holding back even in the subtlest of ways does not feel good, and overtime it erodes our soul and dims our light.
This leaks the power right out of our spiritual body, without which we don't get to be, honour or experience the vibrant, magnetic, alive, enthusiastic, inspired being that we are.
It is the spark of life itself.
This is why peeps can wake up one day feeling flat, dead and like something is missing, because it is. The 'me' in them is missing. They've shrunk themselves to fit in.
( The antidote: reclaim your spiritual body. Need help? Let’s chat. Book a free ‘Power In You Clarity Call’ 👇🏻👇🏻 👇🏻 ..)
Why did I hold back?
I was resistant to revealing what a witch I am, in what I perceived to be a very business setting.
And.
I was also afraid of being too much.
( This comes up regularly for clients and other women in my circles because back in the day women along with the children were seen and not heard .. )
That people will think I'm too big for my boots.
( I'm not. I'm a size 6 and they fit.... perfectly.)
Like: Who does yer wan think she is?
( Irish for 'who does she think she is'. This expresses the sentiment that wanting 'more' for oneself is not ok. It's a slap down for a woman who desires to rise with an intention to belittle. BTW - I'm taking this phrase back. I'm seeing it as a woman who's breaking through the old feminine energy template as she steps into the wholeness of her being, outside of the baby producing / wife / good girl roles.)
That one has gone above her station.
She's so full of herself.
( Erm. Who else would I be full of? Hello boundaries?!. )
It was like I had hit my limit for 'being seen' sharing my gifts and for 'being seen' in my light.
Gay Hendricks calls this an upper limit, which happens energetically when it comes to receiving those things/experiences that we deeply desire, receiving is an important component of manifesting.
We hit our maximum capacity for love, joy, success, which is usually programmed between 0-7 years. Then our nervous system doesn't feel safe because we've gone beyond our previous limit or comfort zone for these. Even though these are good feelings and vibes, our nervous system perceives them as a threat.
When we don't feel safe, we then pull back, contract, withdraw, block or self sabotage ourselves.
In this instance, I pulled back to play it safe.
Behind all of this is my fear of being seen.
Which is actually a fear of being judged.
( Fact: If I put myself out there I will be judged. You will be too. And that's ok.)
This is the number 1 reason, people resist sharing their gifts with the world, even if it's subconsciously.
It's something that comes up regularly for the creatives, change makers and entrepreneurs I serve ( both male and female!).
It's universal, whilst also being a primal fear, and for good reason.
Somewhere in the past, it wasn't safe for them/me/you to shine, so they/I/ you made the subconscious decision to stay safe, thus small.
Somewhere in my past, me being in my power triggered those around me who weren't in their’s.
On a subconscious survival level, we choose to abdicate our power and stay small to avoid being ousted out of the family/ group / collective, which at that time when we were younger, provided safety and nourishment.
To our nervous systems this really is survival stuff.
To our nervous system standing out / being different / powerful = danger.
Add on centuries of collective and ancestral wounds, like the witch wound, which is a very real imprint that shows up when it comes to owning our gifts, our feminine power and being seen.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
C.G. Jung
Behind this move of mine was a wounded 5 -7 year old who didn't feel safe to shine, who's looking to stay hidden from harm.
Using the super tools from the Power In You Approach™ and support from others, I'm working with this younger part of me so I get to increase and expand my capacity for being seen in my light.
Which means I don't hold back from being me and I don't hold back my brilliance from the world.
And… I'm inviting you to join me.
Join me in making this decision, or in renewing your commitment to not play small.
To not shrink for those who think small.
To placate or pander to other people's judgements, wounds and smallness.
To refrain from judging others ( which only points back to ourselves !)
To release ourselves from our own judgements about ourselves.
(Because judgement always comes from a wounded place.)
May you know your own value, beauty and worthiness without question.
( That line is from Toshia Silver's 'Change Me' prayer.. )
May you allow your gifts to be a high service in the world. Fully, unapologetically and unconditionally.
Love really is the way.
As is backing ourselves at every single corner.
Accepting our gifts as a high service to the world means we don't hold back.
From sharing them, from being seen, from being judged, from sharing our thoughts, from our brilliance, from serving others with our gifts.
And we don't hold back from letting people know about our gifts, which includes promoting or selling our services, especially if we are in a purpose driven heart centered business.
I look forward to 'seeing' you in all your light and glory.
Brona x
P.S Read down to hear what past client Cathal shares about my witch-i-ness:
'‘Just a note to say you’re a little witch (not ugly nor wicked) quite the contrary, but a witch all the same.
Now there are many types of witches, ones we run from and ones we run to.
The word witch comes from old English and was linked to the words: wit, wise and wisdom.
In its practice differs from wizardry and sorcery as she doesn’t necessarily require the use of tools in wielding her magic (unless we consider Zoom a tool) but rather casts her spells in thought, power, energy, laughs and smiles instilling belief in her subjects/clients and bringing forward and awakening the power and energy within her subjects to allow them cast their own spell and realise the ‘hocus pocus’ within.....
The year has moved along quickly, but I will always hold extremely special and instrumental, the work we did in our sessions. The power of thought was always with me but unfortunately I was too often focused on the wrong thoughts. You helped me find my clear path, ‘what’s in the way is the way’ and all of a sudden those obstacles are no longer obstacles, but opportunities.
Not sure if you remember how I wrote several things down that I told my future self and my spirit that I was looking forward to and grateful for.
Maybe not so I’ll remind you …
1. Thank you for all the people I haven’t yet met but I am looking forward to meeting them. Tick.
2. Thank you for the financial freedom and increased income. Tick .
3. Thank you for the clarity in my business. Tick.
4. Thank you for the wonderful hobby it bring such joy to my life. Tick.
5. Thank you for showing me the power and energy within. Tick tick.
6. Thank you for the steady stream of clients and the opportunity to work with people whom I like and connect with. Tick.
Everyday is a different day and holds all sorts of surprises and joy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not on the set of Mary Poppins, but certainly life is good and not as scary or grey as I thought. We still have little blips on the journey but that’s kinda fun, dumping the shit I don’t need.
Forever grateful… Cathal Dineen’
Yep. I’m a witch in business.
And… If you fancy being a dream boat client, click here to set up a FREE clarity call .