My Second Year in Business | August 2020 - 2021 | Part 2
This is part 2 of a 2 part blog series, where I’m spilling the tea on how my second year full-time in business really went down.
If you haven’t already, you can check out part 1 here.
Otherwise, I’ll continue on with My Top 5 Lowlights…
( Notice I didn't say lows? That’s because I believe our darkness is a doorway to our greatest light. So even in my lows, I’m open to the possibility of light emerging and illuminating through. )
MY TOP 5 LOWLIGHTS…..
Year 2 brought me to my knees because the faith I had in myself wasn’t matching the faith I have in this work.
As I mentioned in my highlights, I know this work works. There’s proof, results, testimonials, emails, life changing break throughs and tears that are testament to that…
However….
Whilst I know this, year 2 showed me where:
> I’m actually holding this work back.
> I’m not honouring the value of this work and the transformations that it brings.
> My own issues of self worth /feeling deserving and worthy of my desires have been getting in the way, blocking myself and this business.
Now don’t get me wrong, I certainly have a connection to self love and self worth. After all, it’s what has gotten me to the point where I am now:
> I have healthy/respectful relationships and really good connections in my life.> I’ve travelled the world, had many adventures and I still plan for more.
> I have great friends and family.
> I have people who I know and trust, that I can be extremely real and raw with.
> I left my my job and am building a business that reflects my purpose and gifts.
> For someone who is highly sensitive, I keep myself well and balanced.
> I’ve learned and am still learning how to get out of my own way.
> And recently, I was with an amazing reflexologist who told me that I have the healthiest feet ( hence body) she has ever seen…. And she’s seen a lot of feet.
That last point says it all 😂.
I have healed a lot of crap and gunk in my life so much so that I get to help others navigate this path.
Yay! Go me…
HOWEVER….. it doesn’t just stop there. The journey continues.
Self worth opens us up to RECEIVE the fruits of our labour and manifestations.
This next level of success in my life and business in year 2 was calling for me to open my arms wider to receive my good, which meant anchoring deeper into self worth.
Next Level Success = Next level of self worth = Next level of healing and growth.
Which all sounds great… however the invitation to grow and heal didn’t arrive gift wrapped in unicorns and rainbows.
Maybe next time though..🤷🏻♀️
2. The invitation to my next level of success arrived on my doorstep bundled up as a massive breaking down of the old.
In other words, it was a bit of a shit storm.
Here my once-every-29-year-challenge ( as mentioned in my previous post ) was delivered.
I met someone.
Was meeting someone a low point?
No.
That was defo fun. But…
The connection shook up a core shadow wound (or two) that was ready for healing. It also highlighted gaps in my self worth and self trust, along with some of those über crappy limiting beliefs.
In other words, it was a massive purge of crap and gunk.
Admittedly, I was knocked.
I share the following regularly with clients, it’s even in the Welcome Guide that they sign:
Your soul is not here to trip you up.
It holds your life, purpose and success as Sacred. It is determined and relentless in pursuit of your joy, happiness and Greatness.
Everything that is happening to you is happening to propel you forward, not to hold you back.
Whilst I knew this was a powerful part of my path forward, it still (naturally) threw me.
ALL my feelings were up on the surface ( and I’m a deeply feeling person so I have a lot of those).
Now, at this point, you might be thinking…
….What has your love life got to do with your business Brona?
In which case, I would respond to you by saying; Eh….EVERYTHING!
Whilst something like this can affect a business indirectly, it also impacts us directly, way more than most are aware of.
How?
We are at the centre of everything in our worlds. You’re at the centre of your experience and I’m at the centre of mine.
Whatever wounds, blocks and patterns that operate in us, impact all areas: career, money, business, love, relationships.
I’ve had clients create financial freedom, triple their monthly income, hit money goals as a direct result of healing the ( false ) identities they didn’t even know they had from past relationship break ups / divorces / sexual experiences. I’ve had others move forward to birth successful businesses as a direct result of healing and untangling the past family/parent/sibling dynamics they were still playing out within them.
Reclaiming our power frees us up, on so many levels, to be who we came here to be and live the life meant for us.
A block once uncovered and healed in one area affects the whole.
Likewise wounds, blocks and patterns leak precious ‘life’ energy along with our power, thus affecting our bodies, relationships, our state of mind, our relationship with time, the money and abundance that flows through our lives and our bank balances.
We can desire to create something new and amazing in our lives, businesses & creative projects, but we won’t have the energy or capacity in us to actually bring them to full fruition.
We have to work twice as hard physically to make up this difference with varying levels of success, and an exertion on our physical selves and our health.
Which means pushing and forcing. Overwhelm. Depletion. Burn out. Plenty of hard work with lack of results.
Or worse still: this can create illness, drama, lack of balance, inner instability, anxiety, breakdowns and self sabotage.
We cross the finish line feeling empty on the inside, wondering.. ‘Wasn’t joy supposed to be here when I arrived?’.
I knew this was a call to power for me in so many ways and areas of my life.
And having the inside scoop on this kind of work, I also knew it was my fulfilled, whole, loving self who was calling me on to heal this stuff because love is the most powerful, expansive energy we can bring to ourselves, our lives and businesses.
3. In the midst of all this, I momentarily lost my mojo.
My get up and go plummeted, as did my energy levels.
I was knocked and for a while, I didn’t have the energy to get up.
Furthermore, I didn’t want to meditate.
I didn’t want to exercise.
Parts of me just didn’t care, they just wanted to watch really shit TV, eat and avoid what was going on.
There were moments where I’ve questioned myself and my path.
Here’s what I’m proud of though:
I choose to break open.
NOTE: This is very different to feeling broken.
Feeling broken is when our ego uses natural phases of growth and learning against us, perceiving events through the eyes of fear and using these events to label ourselves as less than, not enough, or lacking in someway, attacking who we are at our core.
Breaking open is when we expand, hitting against our previous limits and breaking open through them. Perceiving through the eyes of love, we hold ourselves preciously throughout this process understanding that what we are experiencing is exactly that: what we are experiencing. This has nothing to do with who are at our core. Stuff is moving through us, but does not define us.
As a result, I surrendered.
I didn’t resist any of it.
I didn’t judge myself.
I didn’t judge the situation.
Nor did I self abandon or reject myself.
I let go of all attachment to certain outcomes.
I let it in and let it wash over me.
Underneath it, I began to feel into patterns and deeper lessons that were playing out.
I knew that what was coming up was not just confined to my love life, but was also playing out, through my business and finances.
In every moment and in every area of our lives, we are either opening to love or closing to fear.
Doing the deep healing work I do for others, it was simply my time to really focus on myself so I could open to love even more.
I had no other choice but to dive in.
So I did.
4. I sought professional help and the help I initially received, didn’t support me but actually reflected some judgements/thoughts the professional had.
( And were ones that I was in the process of clearing!)
This professional might have been well intentioned but her beliefs came through in this session which is a ‘hell no!’.
A clear space is a must for deep healing work.
Not all ‘help’ is the right help for us.
I thank my lucky stars that even amidst my own storm and vulnerability, I could feel into the truth, plus I have good friends and loved ones who reflected that truth back to me.
#eternallygrateful
Needless to say, I put a call out to the Universe and in the midst of having a good deep inner child kind of cry, the right support arrived right into my inbox at the right time.
Since then, it’s been amazing to be exploring my own blocks and to gift myself the time and space for me to heal and grow.
As a coach, I love the work I do.
Likewise, I also love and value receiving and benefitting from this type of work.
The outstanding lesson and message of year 2 for me has been ‘You are OH-so-worthy!’
After 6 months of giving to myself, I feel full and I know I am worthy in a deep full bodied resonance kind of way. I’m now committed to making my decisions about myself and my life from that place.
Seriously, self worth is EVERYTHING.
We can have big visions and desires.
We can be doing personal growth work.
We can be doing all the things. Like ALL the freakin’ things.
But if we don’t claim our self worth, all that inner work goes to waste and we end up going round and round in circles, leak our precious life energy.
How we see ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously, makes or breaks us.
Life can be there in front of us ready to gift us with our desires ( the relationship, the business, the clients, the time, the money..) but if we don’t feel worthy or deserving, we’ll push it away and side step it.
As one client so aptly once shared:
'It’s like I’m more comfortable with the dysfunction, than I am with the functional?!!’.
Lack of self worth can leave us feeling comfortable with our own dysfunctions, so much so when functional and whole shows up, it feels ‘off’ to us and we resist it out of fear.
We tolerate ‘blah’.
We are unavailable for the available and available for the unavailable, therefore keeping what we deeply desire out of reach.
This simply reflects back to us our inner unavailability due to the subconscious fears around our success, light and worthiness.
I’ve witnessed clients claim they don’t have what they deeply desire because of external situations, factors and other people, but this is never the case.
No one holds the keys to manifesting our desires, except us.
It’s always about us and the standards we hold ourselves to, which in turn others respond to.
The truth is that parts of me did not feel worthy of the love and success that are there for me and these were the parts that were calling out, looking for my attention in year 2.
As a result, I’m walking into year 3 with a sturdiness in my stride, with arms open wide and a ‘Oh hell yeah’ fist pump for what’s to come.
What’s more… with every almighty uplevel, I bring my business and beautiful clients with me.
Oh and another thing I’m proud of: during this time, in showing up for myself in this way, it allowed me to continue to show up for my clients and serve in a powerful way, and the beautiful heart warming emails and testimonials continued to pour in.
5. I don’t have a number 5.
Seriously, No.1-4 were enough for me this year.
In summary… year 2 has been the break through year.
I was being shown what needs to be let go of so that I am a match for my desires.
Knowing that didn’t make going through I any easiert, but am I glad to be where I am now?
You betcha…
And this makes me even more sure of the path I’m on and the work I’m here to do.
Blocks really are powerful stepping stones forward.
Key lessons: I’m worthy.
You’re worthy.
❤️
Brona x